Count Your Blessings

A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and started to read the letter:

Dear Mom: It is with great joy that I’m writing to tell you I’ve eloped with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Dylan and he is so nice—even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and motorcycle clothes.

But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and Dylan said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams, too. Dylan taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Dylan can get better; he sure deserves it! Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and know how to take care of myself. Someday we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Mackenzie


PS: Mom, really I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, which is on the kitchen table. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

When you’re tempted to blow your stack, just imagine how much worse it could be and count your blessings!

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